Steven Wright
United States
Born on 6 Dec 1955
Comedian
Born on 6 Dec 1955
Comedian
Quotes
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If you were going to shoot a mime,
would you use a silencer?
would you use a silencer?
I'm moving to Mars next week,
so if you have any boxes . . .
so if you have any boxes . . .
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
If olive oil comes from olives,
where does baby oil come from?
where does baby oil come from?
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled,
how would we know?
how would we know?
I saw a subliminal advertising executive,
but only for a second.
but only for a second.
I bought some powdered water,
but I don't know what to add to it.
but I don't know what to add to it.
I spent all my money on a FAX machine.
Now I can only FAX collect.
Now I can only FAX collect.
Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
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On Anger: "For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind."
Essays
Essays
On Destiny: "Our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet, we have not learned its nature: it is our future that lays down the law of our today."
Human, All Too Human
Human, All Too Human
On Friendship: "A crowd is not company; and faces are but a gallery of pictures; and talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love."
Essays
Essays