Steven Wright
United States
Born on 6 Dec 1955
Comedian
Born on 6 Dec 1955
Comedian
Quotes
<< Prev Next >>
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
On the other hand,
you have different fingers.
you have different fingers.
My socks DO match.
They're the same thickness.
They're the same thickness.
If its tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Smoking cures weight problems . . . eventually.
I spilled spot remover on my dog.
Now he's gone.
Now he's gone.
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
I went to San Francisco.
I found someone's heart.
I found someone's heart.
I went to the fights,
and a hockey game broke out.
and a hockey game broke out.
Search
On Anger: "For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind."
Essays
Essays
On Destiny: "Our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet, we have not learned its nature: it is our future that lays down the law of our today."
Human, All Too Human
Human, All Too Human
On Friendship: "A crowd is not company; and faces are but a gallery of pictures; and talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love."
Essays
Essays